Today was our presentation of our final documentary. To be very honest with you I am not happy with it, at all, but that is because I know it could have been something much better, if people would have actually listened to me. This is the biggest problems I've faced over the past few years. At first, when I started doing media properly when I was about 13, I actually just thought I was trying to be a control freak and should step back because other people know better/more. Now I'm at uni, I am quite young in comparison to some of the people I work with, but I have been doing media much longer than them and it just makes me want to scream when I do not get listened too. I may be younger, but have you thought that I actually know what I'm on about?! I am now one of the people that knows something.
To take the most recent example, this documentary for my single camera project, this has happened yet again, but not because I wasn't assertive (believe me, I was). I have been saying from the beginning about certain things not going to work or not having enough screentime etc. I kept repeating myself practically everyday, and in the edit this didn't change.
So as I sat in my presentation hearing feedback on our film I had to hold myself back. My tutor was picking out everything that I had warned the group about and been saying was not going to work. If anyone was to look at me they would have thought I wanted to tear the room apart with my mind, I was holding back that much. I just wanted to burst out!
But I've realised how I've become a bit more professional in the past few weeks because of it all. I have never had to shout at someone I worked with before. I don't take members of my group to the side to 'criticise them as a professional' when I'm actually gonna tell them how awful they are or always tell members of the group to always act professional. (There are 2 types of people: 1: professionals- that don't bang on about being professional and do it 2: idiots- who actually know nothing and have to cover that up by saying the word professional as many times in a sentence as they can)
I am now just sat in my chair, smug in the comfort that I was right and I know that I was. At least I know I have really grown as a person.
But mark my words, I will never be spoken down to again...
